Our Energy Future

Our Energy Future.


The New York Times today reports than a residents of a New Jersey city are up in arms about the installation of solar panels along the bucolic streets of Fairlawn, NJ.

They are upset because nobody in the community asked the utility company to tack these pretty little solar panels on their telephone poles.

Turns out they are being installed because of a mandate imposed on the utility company by the ruling elites of New Jersey. The elites mandated that the utility company get more of its electricity from “renewable sources of energy.” Each of the solar panels produces enough juice to brighten four 60-watt light bulbs for 6 weeks—presuming of course that clouds never appear which would stop the sunrays from reaching the solar panels.

This gives me an idea…and a surefire way to fix the child obesity problem in America.

Instead of regulating what kids eat, make them recharge their cellphones with beanie hats.

All they have to do when their cell phone is out of juice is run down the road, make the little propeller on their hat go round and round, and the wind will generate the electricity needed to recharge their cell phones, ipods and ipads.

It’s renewable energy. It reduces global warming. And cuts their cell phone carbon footprint. They will shed their excess fat and parents will no longer have to monitor their cupcake intake.

Now please keep this post to yourself. Because if some green bean left winger in Congress hears about it, next thing you know they’ll be introducing legislation, holding hearings and stealing my idea.

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